Why Love is Not Enough

by Greg S. Baker

Is it not true that you argue more with people whom you say you love the most? Is it not also true that you've been hurt more by people that claim they love you than by anyone else? If love is enough why then do 50% of marriages end in divorce between two people who once said they loved each other? This article takes a look at this problem.

Often, when asked why two people decide to marry each other, the answer comes back as, "Because I love her/him!" Despite a profound misunderstanding of what love really is, this comment has become the stock reason for marriage for most couples. Yet, their love for each other is not enough to keep them married. Everyone who has gotten a divorce, at one time, felt like, believed, and trusted that they loved the person they eventually divorced. Clearly, love wasn't enough.

In fact, is it not true that you argue more with people whom you say you love the most? Is it not also true that you've been hurt more by people that claim they love you than by anyone else?

Society promotes love as the sole reason for a successful relationship. They believe that love will solve all problems conquer all obstacles. This idyllic and euphoric concept of love works great for the movies and fairy tales, but is impractical and unbiblical in real life.

Biblically, love does not conquer all. Biblically, love is a sacrifice, a giving of self that reflects the character of the giver more than honors the qualities of the receiver. The Bible teaches us that greater love can no man have than to lay down his life for his friend. The Bible also says that we are to love our enemies, and the word love is no less deep and meaningful for the friend as it is for the enemy. God so loved us that He gave his only son-to death! It was a sacrifice, not an emotional force that turns back the evil tide.

When you love someone, you express it in the form of a sacrifice of self. It is a measure of the giver, never the measure of the power of love itself. It is why God can command our love. Love is something we all have. It is something built into us. We are created in the image of God. God is love. We too have this same attribute...and attribute of God Himself. Thus, God can command our love.

Love is vitally important in our lives. It provides the right perspective on life. But it doesn't solve your problems. God loved us and so sent His Son to die for us so that we might go to heaven. But that love didn't prevent masses of people from killing Jesus anyway. And it doesn't prevent millions of people from rejecting His saving grace.

Yes, you ought to learn to love, because as you love, you set the groundwork and the necessary foundation to solve problems, to overcome obstacles, and to have successful relationships. Love keeps the door open. In that, it is essential. Learn to love.

But love, of itself, is not enough. It's just the best start that you can have. Every relationship must expand upon their love. Communication skills need to be developed to express that love. Patience is important. Controlling your anger is essential. Even learning to forgive someone else is vital to the success of a relationship.

The five leading causes of divorce have nothing to do with love. They are:

1. Bad sex life

2. Disagreements over child rearing

3. Trouble with in-laws and / or friends

4. Finances

5. Unrealistic expectations

Love isn't enough. It's a good start and if you truly love someone, you'll work on these other areas as well. Love provides the opportunity. Now we must act on the opportunity.

About the Author

Greg S. Baker is a Pastor, Counselor, and Author specializing in building and strengthening relationships.

Please visit our website at: http://www.fitlyspoken.org

For more books and resources on how to communicate better, express yourself, and strengthen social skills. Check out our book, 'Fitly Spoken', a Christian based book that explores the intricacies of human communication and expression in relationships.